im not feeling good recently...
i think im thinking too much...
maybe its influence...
cause im very easily influenced...
im thinking like why m i getting such treatment?
m i that unworthy as a friend?

i guess im just someone who brings joy to you...
and doesnt leave a place...
just a faded trail that will eventually be gone...
well maybe all i can blame is myself...
maybe im not a good friend to all...

i noe im getting very emotional...
or im seriously thinking too much...
it was most probably starting from last week or yest...
but i was at the same time annoyed irritated at ppl...
maybe it all what teenage will go through...
at times you just feel like crying...
but when you reflect back it may seems minor from all the rest that others experienced...
hmm... im just telling it off...
or i think i will still be feeling like there's something stuffed in me...

initially i dun wanna post cause i dun want any pity and attention from anyone...
but telling it out seriously make me feel better...
but still as the same idea from the start...
i dun want any pity and attention from this...
i dun want everything to suddenly change because of my feelings...
i guess i will go through this by myself...
so dun worry~ im cheerful! :P

also maybe i wanna dedicate this to someone...
someone who is feeling not too good too...
i seriously suck at comforting ppl...
that why i feel helpless everytime someone is feeling down...
i dunno what to do... and how to do it...
so it just gets very like self reprimanding that you can even help...
you feel very bad...
so dun make ppl worry...
for your own sake and the others (not only me, the rest of your friends are worried too)
hope you seriously feel better after thinking through it...
maybe like move on after this is over...
like bygones are bygones...

maybe she wont see this...
maybe this doesnt help her much...
but i sincerely wish she is better now...